3.22.2009

GOING HOME

Home is where your memories are born...or maybe it's where your secrets live and are kept until you bring them up to the surface to reflect with happiness about some and sadness about others. All the same, your memories belong to you and no one can take them from you. For me, home is where (as the sign in my Art Room says) "Your Story Begins".
My Art Room is where many memories reside through my photos, my mother's rubber stamp collection and where I bring life to my memories through photos, scrapbooking, cardmaking and any thing I can find to keep hands busy, bring a smile through a gift, and keep my heart happy. Geographically, home is Texas City, Tx where I was born, grew up, and lived with my parents and my sisters and brother in Small House. It was brand new when my parents bought it ...I was about 13 and they were so proud of it. It was where I was scolded a little and praised a lot. My family contributed so much to my life and my memories, and I love keeping the memories alive through my stories and photos. My mother was a very young mother (17) when I was born and we were probably more like sisters than mother-daughter. I think we taught each other about motherhood and the memories I have with my sisters and brother, that I absorbed through every day adventures and challenges, were lessons well learned, later well used and became the foundation of my values when I became a mother. Of course, I realize it was my mother's memories as a young woman that led her to a different style of parenting with me...a little harder on me than I would have liked, but I was rewarded with a unique sense of self, a good, healthy dose of self-esteem (you think) a great deal of independence and the ability to love unconditionally. There was a lot of love in Small House and I know so well how difficult it must have been, especially with just one bathroom and 4 kiddos. Something that is unheard of now...one bathroom. If my boys think I am a "Mom story teller" they should only have heard half of her stories and memories.
My Mom (age 57 ),Me (age 40). She baked a birthday cake for me the day this photo was taken and actually topped it with 40 candles.
I came into this world telling my Mom "we've got places to go, things to do and people to see." She knew I wanted my independence early on and I always took a lot of pride in Small House, digging and planting, and the contribution I made as the oldest of four, which was mostly babysitting and housecleaning, which I do no more. Never. Someone else's job! So...I came by my bossiness and independence naturally and then it was home grown from there. Mom was usually up for whatever hobby or sport was interesting me at the time but I wanted my own place and my own space the day I graduated from High School. That I did...moving out of Small House with one bathroom. Boy, were there a couple of bathroom door bangings that only a sister and brother could get into fighting over a bathroom. I've always been a bathroom hog and a closet slob but the rest of any home I've lived in has screamed neatness or so I'm told. Seems to be a fear with most people (except my boys) when they come to my home...but organizing is one of my virtues that haunts me frequently. I sure hope it doesn't take away from the warmth but rather is just a memory of when I used to organize my spices. Not something I got from my mother but from her mother and my Dad. He taught me to keep the garage the cleanest because he said it was what we would see first. True enough, few people ever walk through my front door after the initial visit...from then on it's the backdoor coming into my garage... that still needs more organization!
Remembering the High School days in the '60's. It was the old Terrace Drive Inn in Texas City, on a December Friday night in 1967 where I met my boys' Dad, Terry, a blonde, blue-eyed college senior home for the week-end and playing the "big guy on campus role" cruising around in his fancy new car. I was a senior in high school and we hit it off right away. It only took two years for us to begin our journey together, our chapter of memories, with me always wanting a different house with different wallpaper. He was such a sport about every house needing the right garden, the right paint and the oh so perfect wallpaper. I learned fairly quickly that his very talented Dad, whom I adored, would do just about any odd job I wanted (well, he would do it for anybody - he was that kind of guy) and one of the most valuable was how to lay tile when I didn't like what the builder was going to put in. Having built 3 homes starting at the age of 19, you learn fairly quickly how to negotiate with the builder and get them to come around "your way." Funny thing about that home Terry and I built at age 19. We called it "Westbury Home" like it was a grand estate and to us it was but that was actually the name of the street. I did all the negotiations and we came out with a $150 house note...now can you even imagine? We were actually scared we weren't going to be able to afford that Westbury Home but I just kept us building after that one was finished and we took on 10 acres and Farm House. We built that one ourselves, with GrandPa's help, had our pond and ducks, geese and cats. Bad thing was that moving to the country found me allergic to everything we had but it didn't take but 2 years and hundreds of allergy shots later to get rid of those. I think I was taking the allergy shots longer than we lived in Farm House. On most home projects Grandpa would do it for me but I have many funny memories of Grandpa saying: "No, tell me you didn't get that fancy stuff this time." Of course, in the 1960's foil wallpaper was all the rage and since he had a hard time telling anybody "no" he would try to convince me that he couldn't do it! So I would research it "ad nauseum" only to find out that he knew how all along! In my mind, there wasn't anything that Grandpa couldn't fix or foil, including wallpapering and laying tile in the smallest of bathrooms. He helped build a greenhouse as a Christmas gift to me in 1974 in the backyard of Westbury Home and when I saw it he teasingly asked: "which wall do you want wallpapered?" No wallpaper in that plant-home, he had to install a heating system...that threw him a bit! I spent many days tending to my plants in that little potting shed built with care by Terry and Grandpa. Together they were a construction force to reckon with.
From early married days in the late 1960's through two marriages and I can't begin to count how many homes, I finally moved away from Texas City in 1995 after Sam began studies at Baylor. Through the years, I learned that home is where you are at the time, with your memories, and being with those you love. Single woman that I've been for a very long time, I've been known to tell a date "about the only baggage I carry is my suitcase of memories." The junky stuff I just leave in it's little compartment of my heart and hope I don't need to open it up...it's under lock and key, for the most part, and while some of it may have helped bring me to this point in my life, the sign reads "closed" and I don't choose to travel that path again. Since my my Mom passed away in 2004, I seldom go home to Texas City. People have moved and time has become precious and it's a 5 hour drive from San Antonio to Texas City. While many would ask why I don't fly back home, I like the freedom of driving, being able to stop along the way if something catches my eye and pull out my camera. This month I did just that...packed the car, clothes (couple pairs of shoes :-) and made sure my camera was good to go. Off to Texas City I went for a baby shower for sweet Tracie, daughter of my beloved Sallie, friend of both of my boys, a beautiful wife, wonderful schoolteacher (kiddos you have your hands full :-) and now about to be mother to little Jack David on April 26th.
The Baby Shower:
I stayed the night before with Sam, who now has his own beautiful home and was sport enough to drive me to Texas City on Saturday for the shower. Afterwards, we spent time wandering around Texas City doing drive-bys of our homes, our schools and took photos and chatted all the way about it's change. Samuel Joseph, my youngest.
Photos of his home - he has quite a green thumb but he and his neighbors, Susan, Sandy, Ulrech and Julie work hard to make their townhomes quite a showplace.
The shower brought together seasoned mommies, new mommies and mommies to be and it was good to see friends I hadn't seen in months and catch up with what's going on, listen to new chapters of their lives, and share the new chapter I eagerly await...Grammie To Be. Don't forget to see Little Baby Boy Monitor on blog sidelines. The monitor says he will begin to notice light...probably because it's baseball season. You think? Here is Sue who I've known since we were 10 and 11 with her niece, Kristen, Tracie's big sister, "Sissy" as she is called by many of us, Mommy to Sydney and Blake, beautiful wife, a wonderful school teacher and about to be aunt to little Jack. Visiting Texas City brought back a lot of memories and while most of them are good memories, it's really true (at least for me) "you can't go home.
A little about our drive-bys:
Always having a penchant for pet names of my homes, this house "Big House" because it was and in typical Beverly-style, we even made it bigger adding a game room overlooking the Bay with built in bunks, like a ship. A story soooooo funny, but scary, was the day that Lodie, our beloved housekeeper of 15 years, called and told me she had fallen through the attic behind the boys bunks, landed Doug's 1963 Mustang and was fearful she had dented it. Of course, I was more worried that she was hurt but she picked herself up, dusted herself off and went back to whatever she was doing. What was she doing behind the bunks (the attic over the garage). Surely I didn't have her dusting the insulation...you think? While I don't cook now, in fact the sign says "Kitchen Closed" on my bar, we had lots of large Rotary gatherings at Big House, Family Gatherings and the kids had a great time living in Big House. Well, not to sugar coat this Big House memory... there were some tumultous times (but remember those are locked way) there certainly were good and funny times and even some of the not so good memories are now fun to tell and inevitably bring about laughter. We bought Big House in 1987 and I don't think we ever laid down the hammer (well I think we did lay it down day of the d-i-v-o-r-c-e). The libary was a dark, fake wood paneling and 5 coats of Kiltz later, it was painted a beautiful white enamel, floor to ceiling, overlooking the bay. I wanted our beautiful book collection to fill every shelf that went floor to ceiling on two sides because you know the saying: "The Mind Knows What The Eyes See." At that time Big House was pretty enough to be on the Texas City Christmas Tour of Homes. Carol and I have memories of hanging the Christmas greenery that week-end...fresh sprigs of greenery on the staircase that she rigged with fishing line so it was invisible. I finally had to turn the heater off to keep it from popping loose because of the dry air. Big House had beveled glass doors that I designed with interconnecting hearts and were hand made by my boss' brother in Pearland. At least the doors are still in place and the hearts still interconnected years later.
BIG HOUSE:
and 10 years, a lot of memories left at Big House, and a divorce later, the boys and I moved into "Little House" that now appears to be decorated with a brand new mailbox!
I loved both houses just the same, each with their own personality and memories...skateboarding into the swimming pool while I wasn't watching (bad Stevo), kayaking in the Bay (Doug's idea but Sam was a good sport), dune buggy riding, 4-wheeling on the lot next door of Big House, jogging routes, ski trips and many, many baseball games and school activities combined with a lot of holidays, friends and family.
Little House was special to me as a single Mom. It was the first house I bought on my own without the help of another person, other than those who were along the path and helped me to become an independent woman. Sam decorated Little House's yard for Christmas one year when he was about 12. I came home, took one look and went into a "Tizzy Lizzy moment" as my Mama Rush would say, about the plastic statues in the front yard. Many years later, cleaning out my Mother's attic, I decided to give Sam the plastic statues for his front yard. Oddly enough...he said "absolutely not!" The circle continues round and round. The good thing about memories is that they come in and out of your life and you never know what song or what moment is going to take you back in time. But...back to the present and life as it is now. Home is now San Antonio, the second-largest city in the State of Texas and the seventh largest city in the United States. I lived here the summer the temperature reached an all-time record high of 111 degrees F on 9.5.2000 but wasn't born just yet when it dipped to a record low of 0 degrees F on 1.31.1949. Thank goodness... most of you know I'm cold in almost any air conditioned room. Hey, I'm from Galveston County, a real sun baby, and usually donning a sweater!
When I go back to Texas City now after being in San Antonio for 14 years, it seems like a small community while I always thought I was growing up in a very large place. But compared to when I was growing up and then raising my sons, Texas City has thrived, prospered and survived a lot. There's a new school being built (looks like an elementary school), the hospital is now a retirement home and dear old Texas City High School, where not only I went to high school, my boys' Dad went to high school and our boys went to high school has a new sign at the entrance of the football stadium, a very large new statue of our Mascot and a fresh coat of paint.
Texas City High School appears much smaller due to photographer download error!
Visiting again was like I was living there yesterday but it no longer looks the same. The Texas City Dike is not a recreation area for the locals right now. This dusty skinny road jutted out into the bay with rocks on both sides where your neighbor could be spotted on a Sunday afternoon throwing a line catching who knows what and just "kicking back with a cool one. The Texas City Dike has been quoted in history books as "The World's Longest Fishing Pier", originally built in 1914 to protect the harbor. In the early 1920's, it was extended five miles into the bay but now, post Hurricane Ike, the sign says: "Closed Until Further Notice." Hurricane Ike was a sad occasion for the Texas City Dike but the most tragic moment in Texas City's history occurred on April 16, 1947, when the freighter Grand Camp exploded in the harbor, igniting other fires and explosions along the waterfront and industrial district. Over 500 lives were lost and millions of dollars in damage done in what has been called one of the worst man-made disaster in U.S. history. The anchor of the freighter Grand Camp, which landed hundreds of feet away from the bay, now graces a city park at the entrance to what was the Texas City Dike, resting on a concrete platform outline of the State of Texas, with a star indicating the location of Texas City.
The historical marker along side the Anchor:
Texas City now has a Starbucks...wow, what progress. I grew up having cherry cokes and milkshakes at a little place called Burton's Malt Shop where I could ride my horse up to the door and Danny, the owner, would bring me a cherry coke. Danny later gave me a job (cooking no doubt, maybe that's why I don't like to cook) and it turned into my very first job at age 14 for about $1.00 an hour! As a young Mom, I could go into the corner grocery store for a Diet Coke and a loaf of bread and and "make a new friend" (as Sam would say), but now, I am anonymous to most. My heart, however, still holds the memories. On our drive-by, Sam and I did make a stop at the neighborhood M & M's grocery store by Little House for a soda and while the fellow behind the counter still said the same thing: "How's it going for you today?" he didn't remember my face. When Sam went in there as a kid, he used to ask: "How's business?" referring to Sam's Club. Whatever it took to b
ring a smile to your face...the guy has it down right.
Texas City holds a lot of history that few know about. I was visiting with friends recently about the history of Texas City and my girlfriend, Carol, who was here for a visit a few weeks ago and I were patching together it's history, as we knew it, grew up, and experienced. It's survived two major depressions, at least five major storms: 1900, 1915, 1943, 1961 and Hurricane Ike, just last year. The miracle of Texas City is that it continues to survive, thrive and prosper staring at the face of adversity, especially every Hurricane Season. Despite the hurricanes and Texas City Explosion (as it is known state-wide, if not nation-wide), is that this community that I called home for 45 years has met the challenges and profited through growth and development. I sure hope the Dike reopens in years to come for all the memories it holds for many a starry, starry night. There weren't a lot of places to go on a date, especially if you were absolutely prohibited from driving to Galveston, but I have so many good memories of dates tricking me out to the end of the Texas City Dike telling me "we're going to watch for submarines." Yeow, right. Then, of course, I tricked dates (one in particular) into letting my horse out of his stall. I stalled him at feed time... on purpose... knowing I had a date. Not sure what I would have done if the date had been broken. I think Coco My Jo, as I affectionaly called him, would have stayed penned up all night and I would have had to figure out how to get to the barn before school. Fortunately, I don't remember a date ever cancelling. Lots of good, wholesome memories at that barn. Some really fun times with an older fellow (at least all of two years older than me) named Steve, whose Dad owned the land. We let his pen of capons drink root beer and did everything possible to keep my lamb's teeth in (for show at the Galveston County Fair and Rodeo). He would ride me on his bike from home to the barn in the rain and the cold and the sleet and the snow...that was until he got his driver's license. Good memories except for the really bad tumble I took on the handlebars of his bicycle. I think my knee is still scarred and don't know that I've ever been back on a bike...I know I stay off the handlebars!
Going back to Texas City and returning to my home in San Antonio, where I have lived in one house longer than any other place in my life is a renewal, each and every time. When I drive in, I am always at peace to be in my garage, in my place and surrounded by my "stuff." It is my shelter from the storm and while I have a penchant for pet names, I have not named this house. It is my home and every flowery room, with it's yellow walls (except for the downstairs bath wallpaper that took 7 coats of paint- candy apple red) are a reflection of the people I love and the stuff that has traveled along with me and my memories. I have gone over and over in my mind whether I need to stay in the house and even my son, Sam, has said: "Mom, home is wherever you are. The rest is just stuff." Yes, that is very true but it's my stuff. It's my photos, and the stuff that comforts me and provides the sense of nesting that I need. It's that place where I can clear away any clutter I've accumulated in my mind (not to count any closets) and begin anew. I can put away any issue that might have resurfaced going home and divest myself of any unnecessary chatter in my mind that might creep up from "going back."
Traveling that journey back to Texas City is like looking into the rear view mirror. Growing up where I did, how I grew up and how I moved on has helped define my identity and I wouldn't trade the twists and turns, or the obstacles along the way, for anything. Without those twists and turns I wouldn't have the happiness and peacefulness that I now enjoy. It's a good thing, as Martha would say, to know that I will just keep moving along in life, with memories that I have stored away, and continue to try (and sometimes I have to try hard) to not become rigid with fear or cling to the past. It's a real waste of energy to keep clinging to what once was. I choose to face the future with the happiness I know is in store, not only for me but for the ones I love, and my experiences have taught me I can face any dark moments of life, that I don't have to run if I use good judgment (and believe me I've done my running in the past) but I don't want to run any more...just make smart decisions, move forward and and eagerly await all the good things that I know are little way down my path. For my past and my future, for the people in my past and in my present, I am grateful From My Heart.
A little piece of magic just may come true if you make a wish today!
~Babs

2.01.2009

Happy Valentine's Day

Robert Frost once said "there is a time for departure, even when there is no certain place to go." Is he is speaking to our journey of life, as it was meant to be lived? That's what I think. Life is a journey, and we should remember that as we go through life; live it in the moment. What about loving in the moment? For what it is now, not what it should have been or could be...but now. In this electronic world where we are all connected electronically, a personal "feature components," as humans, is our love-ability. We love to love it, we love to give it, receive it, talk about it, we write music about it and yes, sometimes we lose it...but there's definitely something we cannot do and that is...live without it. In our heart of hearts, I think we all love, it's just more natural for some than it is for others and I think we all love differently and love a variety of things in our life. It's Valentine's Day and there was a special lady in Minnesota who, on a very cold visit there, told me about the love of her life. She gave me a wonderful outlook on life that I think of often: "Look out the windshield, not in the rear view mirror." I remember that phrase a lot on my journey and I often wish I didn't look back but I have many wonderful memories of Valentine's Day and special loves so on this special day I am looking back reminiscing about the different types of love. Puppy Love, First Love, Eternal Love, Parental Love, Sibling Love, Friendship Love, Love of Sports, Love of Pets...get it? Personally, I don't think love should be about who loves you, but who you love. It's a day of accounting and making certain that those people who are in our lives know they are special, recognized and know that we love them regardless of any "return on investment" in this day of television and other media blasting us with econonic news. I've read several theories of Saint Valentine's Day and there are varying opinions as to it's origin. Some say it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine." Others say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine. Over time February 14 became the date for exchanging love notes and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date is marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. In the United States, Miss Esther Howland, built a successful business in her home of Worcester, Massachusetts with handmade Valentine cards that were based on British models. Worcester, Massachusetts reminds me of an Eternal Love of a very special couple. My cousins, Bob and Norma. I was the flower girl in their wedding, little white socks and all. Theirs was a marriage that lasted decades...something to be admired and revered in this day and age. Norma, my shiny and bright cousin, and her beloved Bob, who was adored by many, now has a gymnasium named after him, had a marriage as solid as the rocks of South Texas. He was from Worcester, Massachusetts and being the small town Texas girl that I am, I thought Worcester was some far away land when Norma introduced our family to this ruggedly handsome, well over 6'2", fellow. He was born on Oct. 8, 1937 to a wonderful Polish family. Bob was a HUGE basketball player and won the City championship his senior year in high school and was All-New England Conference 1st Team. Can you believe he worked in the Brown Shoe Factory, (Buster Brown Shoes which Norma actually wore)? Basketball brought him to San Antonio, Texas with a 4 year BasketBall scholarship at Trinity University. During his Freshman year at Trinity, he traveled to Texas City for the Christmas holidays with a friend, a football player for Trinity. Norma was a Senior at Texas City High School that year and was planning to attend Trinity University in the fall. As Norma would say: "Now don't tell me that God doesn't polish us up and get us ready for a life's journey to meet, fall in love, and marry our true soul mates." That they did. They had quite a journey together and she did A LOT OF THE DRIVING...at least in the beginning of their journey. Definitely ETERNAL LOVE. ETERNAL LOVES: My grandmother and grandfather, Fred and Annie, my dear friend, JoAnn and her husband, Thomas, my aunt and uncle, Dee and Helen, (My "Tis"), my daughter-in-awe's mother and father, Rick and Barbara, my dear friends, Toby and Sallie, This couple's Eternal Love is also Paternal Love, Sibling Love, Friendship Love and the many pets along their journey. God Bless you, Toby...you are in our hearts forever. Eternal Loves (cont'd): James and Carol who I adore, Gaynell and Jimbo, married since we were kids or so it seems, and my childhood friend, who I love very much, Phyllis Ann and her husband, Bob. We all thought he was Robert Redford's twin. A smile and personality bigger than Dallas...and a love for PAnn about the same size.
A bit of trivia? Have you ever wondered where so many of the Valentine's go that are postmarked "Loveland?" When the boys were little we went to Colorado so they could learn to ski and enjoy the mountains. A huge change of scenery from our coastal hometown region of Galveston County. One year, we were able to visit and ski at Loveland, Co. It is not only beautiful but has the reputation of doing the largest post office business around February 14. So your trivia answer is Loveland, Co.
SIBLING LOVE: The spirit of love continues as Valentines are sent with sentimental verses and children exchanging valentine cards at school. I can remember, as though it was yesterday, standing in our kitchen, me the big sister at age 12, making my little sister, Janell, and little brother, Dwain, each a Valentine's box. Let's see...Janellie would have been about 7 and Dwain would have been about 6 so it was probably their first Valentine boxes.

Little Brother All Grown Up... I wasn't as crafty with the scissors and glue then, as I am now, because thats when we all realized I fainted at the sight of pain or blood. Not a particularly romantic thought but true all the same. If I say I'm going to faint...you best believe it and get out of the way. But I did love looking for that coveted cigar box that every little kid wanted to cover and mark on and make really special to have school friends place little notes and cards in throughout the day. Who really did secretly admire us but was too bashful to tell?

I only have a handful of friends and I covet them and wish I had more time to spend with them. I keep saying I'm going to work on that. Anyway, two that have been in my life for well over 25 years are particularly important: A female FRIEND THAT I LOVE and a male FRIEND THAT I LOVE. Neither even know the other. So be it our journey of life, where it takes us, who we love, yet sometimes paths do not even cross.

FEMALE FRIENDSHIP LOVE. Phyllis Ann...friends since my birthday, age 13. We met that year in school and went to the movies one Saturday (she didn't know it was my birthday) and we've been friends through all the years. We can go for months without talking, call one or the other on the phone, and BOOM...we pick up where we left off the last time we talked. We reminisce, advise, listen, philosophize, opinionize...you name it, we do it. She's a dear, talented friend who, like the song says "When you Need a Friend" she is there. Then there's my dear Sallie, who was married to a wonderful man (see Eternal Love) and Sallie has seen me through some of the highest of highs and the lowests of lows...and you know what, she's still here and I know, in my heart, that she will be with me forever in my journey. Here we are the night her beloved Toby was honored by our Alma Mata for the contributions that he gave back to our home town, the community, our children and civic life.

As was said in Eulogy: "There will be many little ladies who will miss Toby's hugs." A Valentine of many, but his Valentines were his girls, Sallie, Kristen and Tracey. Female Friendship Love (cont'd.) PAnn was there the night I met my boys' Dad. She had known Terry and his family for years because they stabled horses on her families acreage. They were riding buddies...barn buddies...it was a fluke meeting that night. She has been a constant in my life even when distance has caused absence, she was and is always in my heart. I know she will always be there...for the long run. PAnn has passed many of her talents on to her beautiful daughter, Stacey. A young lady with many, many talents. Now, the two of us, long time friends have 3 kiddos...all SS's.... SJS, SLS, SMS...so we share. MALE FRIENDSHIP LOVE: A boss first, friend forever. Not a thing romantic...just a dear, dear heart. My friend Stan, who is far away now, knows every secret, every love, every loss, every high and every low of my journey and I suspect that I know his. He's been along every step of the way and I know he will be there at the end of the journey. Always there. He's counseled, he's listened, he advises but he never judges. Happy Valentine's Day, SPS. FRIENDSHIP LOVE: NO MATTER THE GENDER In loving my friends, I am learning to trust, even at my lowest moments and when I am feeling vulnerable. My biggest weakness is letting my barriers down. I believe I MUST be strong and it is soooo exhausting but that is who I am and I'm okay with it. It's nice to have friends that I can be with and know I am not being judged. A new friend has taught me a lot about friendship. Somehow I made it to this age thinking that love was only about romance. No, love is also about friendship and loyalty. It's just taken me a lot longer to figure that out and I am thankful for this learning lesson...a lesson for me, the one with an unhealthy dose of mistrust. But, if you can trust the person based on their acts and not just their words, there is a foundation for friendship. That is...to trust. It is so easy to be fooled, but you know the saying: "fool me once"...well, I don't even want to go there in my Love-ly Blog. Friendship is what it is...not what is said...it's the actions. It’s something you do, and it's because you WANT to do it for the other person...nothing expected in return. And if you are lucky it all balances out. That doesn’t mean it’s always going to be in perfect harmony and balance at every turn. Sometimes you just “need a friend” and be there when you are needed by your friend. It's a mutual trust you can depend on. Thank you, Joe, for this valuable lesson in trust and friendship. MATERNAL LOVE: Can there ever be a deeper bond than that of a mother's love? I don't think so. As the saying goes: "From the Time They Placed You In My Arms You've Been in My Heart Forever." I have two of the most incredible young men and they have been the Sunshine of my life. A Mother's love is something that no one can explain, It is made of deep devotion and of sacrifice and pain, It is endless and unselfish and enduring, come what may For nothing can destroy it or take that love away . . . It is patient and forgiving when all others are forsaking, And it never fails or falters even though the heart is breaking . . . It believes beyond believing when the world around condemns, And it glows with all the beautyof the rarest, brightest gems . . . It is far beyond defining, it defies all explanation, And it still remains a secret like the mysteries of creation . . . A many splendoured miracle man cannot understand And another wondrous evidence of God's tender guiding hand. ~ Helen Steiner Rice NEW LOVE: Now my oldest is newly married to a beautiful young woman with an incredible smile and wonderful heart. They are expecting their first born on 7.04.09. A little boy. Check out Baby Progress Meter on the side! He will be treasured and adored by many. My son is now the second happiest I've ever seen him in his life, the first being when Lauren walked down the aisle and said "I Promise" and now waiting the birth of their firstborn (paybacks really are going to be fun, my son) and I am so grateful to his wife and her family. My son probably has a bit of all loves...New Love, about to have Parental Love, Love of Sport, and his LOVE OF PET: Ladies & Gentleman...meet Tag. Tag is Steven & Lauren's Boxer who has graced us with his presence not only in our homes but on the baseball field...and quite unexpectedly. Tag, you are in for a new love yourself... New Little Baseball Player. You just may have to move over and make a bit of room in your life.

speaking of Animals...Remember PUPPY LOVE.

Valentine's Day - Elementary years. I remember looking foward to that special day in elementary school when we crafted our Valentine mailbox for our schoolmates to sneak in those cute little Valentine cards during the day. Just wondering exactly which Valentine would be sent by our then "Puppy Love." I think in the 3rd grade my Puppy Love was named George.

That was also true in the 10th and 11th grade, but a different George. George (3rd Grade) and I had started 1st grade together. That would be George S. and I'm not sure, to the day we graduated from high school, if we ever said more than two words! Ever wander what happened to your first Valentine? Such sweet and tender days. Perhaps that's how my love of scrapbooking started. Making those sweet little Valentine boxes. I still like to make boxes and card and photo pages to remember all this.

Valentine's Day is celebrated by many throughout the world. It's the traditional day in the Western World where lovers express their feelings for each other by sending cards, or giving flowers or giving a box of chocolates. My first box of chocolates was when I was initially accused of being "high maintenance" which, of course, I am NOT. It was my junior year in high school and I was juggling two fellows (who me...yes, me). One brought red roses and Russell Stover and the other fellow (such a sweetheart) brought carnations and Whitman's chocolates. One was 17...the other 22 and a junior in college. Now, I'm going to set the record straight after all these years. First, I don't even like chocolate and second my favorite flower is pink roses. As I remember it, the roses were red but the carnations were pink. Somebody was trying to get it straight just didn't quite make it. While I was very fond of them both as a 17 year old could, let's say the Russell Stover/red roses, won my heart 2 years later, and gave me those two wonderful sons, Steven and Sam. God Bless You, Terrell ("Terry") Layne Sebesta, b. 1945 - d. 1991. Modern day Valentines include the heart-shaped Cupid, an alternative theory from Belarus that states the holiday originates from the story of Saint Valentine, who, being rejected by his love was so heartbroken that he took a knife to his chest and sent her his still-beating heart as a token of his undying love for her. So...there you go...heart-shaped cards sent as a tribute of overwhelming passion and suffering. As a single adult, I've had my very own Cupid, my sweet friend, Carol. She has played Cupid to many. She's definitely not a meddler...she just wants everybody to be as happy and in love as she is with her sweetheart, James. A marriage I've long admired. Heck the only time I've ever seen them raise their voices to each other I was the only one crying! I believe her record holds that she has fixed up 13 girlfriends, 12 have married and, well, I'll let you guess who is #13 and not married, though she has fixed me up 6 times. I've met some really nice gentlemen, they've met some really nice ladies and seem to be happy and in marital bliss. At least it looked that way on the day her daughter, Melissa married. At the wedding, there was an entire dance dedicated to the couples Carol had played matchmaker for and there I was...Little Miss Wallflower. Definitely "Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow" is my Valentine's dedication to Carol. She's a wonderful friend, a devoted wife, mother and MiMi to her grandson, Caden. She's going to give me Grammie lessons for the next several months. So for all my favorite people, just remember the famous words of Charlie Brown:

HAPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING THAT'S LOVED BY YOU. ~ Charlie Brown

OF COURSE: Out of his love for Lucy, one of his all time favorites: NOTHING TAKES THE TASTE OUT OF PEANUT BUTTER QUITE LIKE UNREQUITED LOVE...but let's not go there either. It's a Love-ly Day and I hope your Valentine's Day has been as special as you are all to me and that your Valentine evening is full of love.

Seal a letter with a wish and a kiss!

~ Babs

1.25.2009

Just 50 Years Ago...

On my drive this past week listening to my favorite news program, The Morning Edge at KTSA, I was anticipating another round of political rhetoric. When you begin to consider the disk jockeys as your morning commute passengers, you think you know them, their likes, when they're going to "zing" someone or make a profound (or so they think) statement. I was about to zone them out (change the channel) and listen to NPR or even something country since most of what I see along Hwy. 181 is country, at it's finest, I might add. But hold on there...Trey Ware caught my attention when he started talking about Motown. It's 50 years old. How could that be? Motown was around when I was growing up...of course, I would have been coming into the era of "I want my own radio." So, I kept the Morning Edge on the radio dial, thinking they would tell me something I didn't already know. In the summer of 2007, I learned a lot about Motown from a couple of friends over for a Labor Day pool party and a couple of margaritas. Until that day, I thought Motown was about slow dancin', with your fella, on a Friday night at the Texas City Teen Club, and thinking "we're so cool." Of course, all of us at Texas City Teen Club thought we were "real fine" back then. So, for all of my high school friends, as well as new friends and family, here's a bit of history. 50 Years Ago, in January, a young fellow, aspiring to be a great songwriter started a record label in Detroit, Michigan. The chances of this young fellow, Berry Gordy, Jr., making his claim to fame in a time that the country was clearly divided by race was highly unlikely. He was a boxer, he worked in the ford Factory and had not done well owning a small record store. He had written songs...think Jackie Wilson...but no fortune did he find. Much like the world today, with our divorce population "off the chart" (excuse the pun), he found himself the father of 3 little ones, broke and out of a job. To the good fortune of many generations to come, his family loaned him $800 and he started a record company that we all now know as Motown Records. Motown Records employed, at one time, 450 employees, with an average age of 23 years old. Perhaps they were the "nerds" of their time. But what talent they had and memories they evoke when we hear that wonderful music. I've been to Detroit only once in my life, had dinner at a very "hole in the wall" restaurant where you had to knock on the door to be let in, but the highlight was touring Hitsville, U.S.A., the Motown Museum. Actually there were 8 houses on Grand Boulevard in Detroit that operated as record manufacturing companies. It was truly a walk back in time for me, a time when life was really simple, puppy love seemed very real and corruption and greed just were not in my vocabulary. Motown was responsible for the great sounds of artists like Marvin Gaye, Smokey Robinson and Stevie Wonder...people we all can identify with their music and reach into our own treasure box of memories to take us back to innocent places in our younger lives. Of course, my high school years were also mixed with the Beatles and a lot of my classmates were quite taken with the British bunch but not me. I was definitely a Motown, Elvis, Beach Boys kind of girl. Just mix it all up. The one time in my life I really liked to dance. Well, slow dance that is. I still do like to slow dance...just seems that I've become a lot more Uptight, as the song goes. During this week of the inauguration of our new President Barack Obama, the talented and great Berry Gordy, Jr., will rightfully take his place and be amongst the artists he helped make so popular. This is the anniversary of Motown, it's another celebration of the great Dr. Martin Luther King, and the inauguration of our First African American President. When I watched the inauguration, there was no doubt in my mind that Dr. King was there, in spirit, knowing that the time had come...At Last...for Hope and Unity. Anybody out there know "Who are the Funk Brothers"? I first learned of them that lazy, Labor Day over margaritas and good friends watching "Standing in the Shadows of Motown" and we all listened to music of our time, danced around the living room (now like 50+ goofs) and all said "remember this one?" Fun times, fun people. I had never heard of the Funk Brothers but soon learned they were the House Band for the Motown Sound, especially in the '60s. They had their fingerprint all over the sounds we all recognize as Motown. From "Shadows, that I've now watched many, many times, these were fellows who were trained for late night jazz clubs. James Jamerson was the bassist and probably the most critical of the musical bunch. Like the song, he made you want to dance. There were others, Benny Benjamin, Pistol Allen and Uriel Jones were principal drummers and there were the guitarists Robert White, Joe Messina and Eddie Willis who all helped to pull it together, with little to no credit. Standing in the Shadows of Motown is a wonderful film documentary that I hope many will have the chance to watch, especially now, and better understand how it took all this talent to create the sounds we so often whispered sweet nothings in the ears of our dance partner, or called and played a song, only to hang up because we chickened out when the other answered. Did you ever do that...thought so. I mean really...didn't you ever have a boyfriend or girlfriend who whispered the words of a Motown sound into your ear while your dancing the night away? Baby Love, You Are the Sunshine of My Life? Enjoy the January Playlist and take a step back in time. ~Babs

12.25.2008

MEMORIES OF CHRISTMAS PAST

Happy Holidays...Christmas 2008. I think we all have visions of homes enveloped in a blanket of snow, children building snowmen and fireplaces all aglow. Well...maybe up north, but not in South Texas. It could happen three days before Christmas, or the day after, but today it's going to be 75 degrees and sunny in San Antonio, or so they say. Like the weather changes, so do our Christmas celebrations and traditions. We have our traditions of Christmas holidays past and, as I contemplate this 2008 Christmas, I think about those memories and how, like the weather, they have changed, will continue to change, and new traditions will be made bringing along our heart to store all our new memories. Christmas is a time to celebrate with people we love and care about and who are important in our lives. This year my youngest son, Sam's theme was: "Less Stress." Whatever we can do to lessen the stress and simplify things. So, whether by choice or by happenstance, this year Christmas will be more simple and less stressful. I'll be spending time with family and with friends but at different times and different settings. I'm setting aside obligations, work and worry and as I write this I think of friends who have brought me peace, happiness and also, people who energize me, inspire me and make my life an interesting journey. Who brings me a smile, a good cry or makes me laugh? Who perplexes me and never ceases to surprise me? Who do I bring smiles and laughter to and who do I energize? I'm sure I perplex no one, nor do I surprise anyone. People are our real gifts in life as opposed to presents in brightly wrapped packages. Of course, we have obligations to some but I love to reach out, without feeling obligated...it's a good feeling. As Mother Teresa said: "Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies." Christmas is celebrating God's great generosity to us and God asks us to be generous with others. We've probably all seen the movie "Pay it Forward." Wouldn't it be a gentler world if that really happened...the pay it forward part. This week one of my favorite ladies in the whole world, a doctor, who is also one of my bosses, was looking in my office at My Wall of Sayings. It's a small collection that started because one of the doctors had a real slip of the tongue one day laughing over something I was doing. He said: "We've never had anybody obsessive enough to do that." Don't even know what it was but I was taken aback. Me...obsessive? He later came back and said "Obsessive people can be successful people." So in my office is framed: "Obsessive People Can Be Successful People...Author Known." Another is: "Find a Remedy, Not Fault." So after looking at my office wall, she decided she was going to frame several for small Christmas gifts. Her saying, borrowed from...well, I don't remember: "Do Something for Someone Else Today." Reaching out, taking time for someone other than yourself. Isn't that a cheerful thought? I think it's easier than most of us think...but...do we think? What better reason for the season. Since the very first Christmas, and our relationship with God, hasn't there also been another dimension? That people are part of the reason...part of the whole celebratory event? Okay, we probably all have a Scrooge in our family and people can complicate the holidays with stress, but genuine heart-to-heart caring and honesty is at the core of our relationships with our family and friends in order to grow closer to each other. It requires setting priorities with your time and being select with whom you spend time with at Christmas. It doesn't have to be all crammed into one day...why not have it all of December...in fact, why not just a little more attention paid to our fellowships all year long? In putting these words to print, and thinking these thoughts, I definitely think it's something I want to do in the future. To spend quality time with those I care about - maybe a night at our favorite cafe, or Christmas cheer (okay let's face it...in San Antonio it's likely to be a Margarita) or grab one of the goofy holiday movies that will be "Now Playing." So like the weather changing, I want to improve the way I spend time with those I care about...spend more time. But speaking of the weather and its changes...I have friends that had snow in Houston last week! A Kodak moment to prove it! My dear friends, the Mayne's.

I had the opportunity to spend the night with my little sister, Janell, this past week and we laughed, I cried ( I do that sometimes ~ happy and sad) while she cooked dinner and I wrapped a big Christmas present. We talked non-stop until I crashed and went to my room. Janell and I have a new chapter being added to our life scripts within 4 months apart this upcoming New Year. We are both going to be a GranMa this upcoming spring and summer. I'm thrilled beyond belief, as she is, and seeing the love and delight that other friends receive from being the "Grand" at this stage...I know it's going to be wonderful. Check out my new baby countdown...New Baby will be due on July 4, 2009. It is exciting...new life that will bring new celebrations, new traditions and lots of memories. There will definitely be new traditions and memories, mixed with the old and with a new blessing from Heaven. There is no better time than now to look for opportunities to do simple acts of kindness and evaluate fellowship priorities with Christmas purpose in mind. People priortizing and how do we best spend our limited energies? It is a time to celebrate the birth of Christ. Is it time to reconcile with someone in our life? Perhaps for some. Recent dinner with friends brought up the subject of forgiveness and I've been thinking about it. For me it's a gift that we can give and should give to ourselves. If we can forgive, can't we grow, leaving more space in our lives to be the kind of person God designed us to be? I think I can. But, as I mentioned at dinner. Ann Landers once wrote: "It's okay to forgive, as long as you forget what it is you are forgiving." Something to ponder as we wonder into a New Year and for most of us, make New Year's Resolutions. One of my favorite things about Christmas is all the beautiful paper. Wrapping paper, paper tags, cards and now, Christmas bags for those who don't want to wrap. That makes Christmas a bit simpler and I am all for a Simple Christmas. My wrapping closet...talk about making it simple. It's like I have my own Hallmark store! I like to have all my Christmas gifts wrapped in one color. Everything matching. But who was it that said "Perfection is Needed for a Perfect Holiday?" Nobody I know. Another one of those self-induced, unrealistic expectations I set for myself but always feel "squared up" when it's all shiny and bright under the tree. I used to wrap each son's gift with the exact same wrapping paper but gave them either a red bow, or a green bow, to tell them apart. Here's one of our Christmas photos where I tried to "ease up" a little and wrap Tag's gift in a different color so Sam wouldn't be opening a chew toy! Tag always gets a gift. Doesn't everyone's pet? My son and his wife's boxer, Tag, is a wonderful pet and this year Tag gets an ornament: "Hi, My Name Is Get Away From The Christmas Tree, What's Yours?"

Break for a phone call ~ I just found out Tag is in route to San Antonio! He's coming home for Christmas. I try to ease up a bit on all the perfection and organization from time to time. Well, maybe not so much the organization...I mean doesn't everyone label their Christmas Rubbermaid containers of decorations? Sure makes it easier for me. For some, I think we simply need to adjust what our peception of perfection really is. Maybe it came from childhood. Everything seemed perfect then. But then...what did we have to do? I sure didn't cook. That was Mom's and Mama Rush's doings. Magically, it just happened. As you know from my Thanksgiving blog, now I realize how much time and energy they put into those meals. I just remember that it was "all about us." Meaning the little ones. Wanting a stuffed animal, a certain doll, (not Barbie for me...she never could make up her mind what she wanted to be when she grew up though she had a wonderful shoe collection, a record album...then, of course, my piano). Now that was a wonderful Christmas. I learned to play the piano, even played at church in the Sunday School Dept. until I got in trouble for jazzing up the Christmas Hymns. Of course, the pastor's son was right there on the bench with me. I think that's when they brought the choir in!

Christmas didn't seem to be about grown ups, except for the cooking. As I grew up and I became a Mom, it still seemed about the kiddos...except...they were mine. Perhaps that's when the perfection perception came in but I'm going to take it down a notch. I'm going to give myself permission to feel okay about changing my expectations. Only God can achieve perfection, it's the celebration and the fellowship that are important. Having said that, I did put out my Christmas decorations from the dusty attic this year and I've really enjoyed seeing the change in my home. Even my friend Rosette said: "Wow, you must be happy." Is it a sign of happiness? For me, I think Christmas decorations are a sign of peacefulness and wanting to share the small collections of things given to me over the years or things I've made. It's that paper thing, you know! So, I wrapped the stairs, put out the wreaths and put out the snowglobes and nutcrackers. Didn't even feel bad because I didn't get to the tree. It's 9' tall, a little much for me to handle so I just displayed my Mom's glass Christmas tree and a ceramic tree made for me by my friend, Karen, a very talented artist, several years ago, along with a couple of mini-trees with their cute little minature ornaments! Christmas at Home, 2008:

The stairs all green and shiny with a favorite painting I did when we three lived in Galveston in 1979 and the boys and I went to the beach. A complete stranger wanted our photo, next thing I knew, I was painting it in classes I took at a local gallery. Wouldn't part with it for a billion dollars.

Our Christmas stockings - - Mine on the left (I used to be an avid runner and Sam picked out this particular stocking when he was about 6) and his stocking.

Steven's stocking is now joined next to his beautiful wife Lauren's stocking...elegant and in need of glitter...to be done.

I have many favorites in my collection of Christmas decorations, things that people have given me, treasures I made and have had for many, many Christmas' but probably my favorite is my ever growing collection of snow globes and nutcrackers. Snow globes being so shiny and bright and my nutcrackers standing at perfect attention.

My Coastal Santa came to me one Christmas from my dear friend, Carol, who (at that time) lived on Galveston Island. He is so heartwarming since I am from the coastal bay area...a barefoot Santa...only from Galveston Island.

A tradition since I was a new mother, back in 1975, was a letter to Santa. I would write to Santa all kinds of wishes for family and friends. I know he listens, I've seen my wishes come true and will continue this tradition for my grandchild. Of course, his/her letter will probably be sent to the North Pole.

There's a special little corner for my Mom's Mr. and Mrs. Santa Clause, as well as one given to me by my sister, and sitting in front is a basket of pine cones that I collect every year in December that have fallen from the pine tree near my mother's resting place. Its a gentle reminder of all the fun Christmas' we had in her home.

Knowing that we were made in the image of our Creator means that we are different from animals and all other creations. Being a man and woman made in God's image means we share a likeness with the most creative Being ever. So...no matter who you are, what you do, what talents you possess, you have the inherited ability to be creative. We each have the ability to learn and grow and to create original expressions of who we are, what we are about and what message we want to send to others. That's a wonderful thing...use your creativity to do something for someone else for Christmas, especially with all its potential adornment.

I make many of my own handmade cards, all of my own wreaths and am now into doing Christmas ornaments that light up to go UNDER the Christmas tree. They always seem to bring a special smile to the recipient. I not only enjoy the creating, but I enjoy the results. It helps me think outside the box and leaves my mind open to many possibilities. With all the boxes that I put myself into of work and even, unfortunately, with play, creating things has no boundaries. It gives me permission to "color outside the lines."

I was recently talking to fellow creators and the subject of Santa Clause came up. Where did he come from and what does he stand for? Seems as though we each our a version...all three not too different from the other. But to set the record straight...a little bit of trivia.

Our Santa Claus (a dutch-language version of St. Nicholas) is a modern characterization of fourth-century bishop of the Christian church in Myra, a land of "green hills, warm sum and soft sea breezes" in what is now, Turkey. According to A Gift from St. Nicholas, Cjrostome Bolley says that "St. Nicholas understood that life's real treasure is found in doing what is right in the eyes of God, and he discovered that joyful peace comes from loving others. He is remembered fondly for his anonymous efforts to give away his inherited wealth."

This is one of Karen's beautiful pieces of ceramics. I also have SNOW and JOY...they are all very special, as well as the ornaments she has made for my tree.

I recently took a photo opp on one of my many journeys around South Texas and ran across this beautiful church. As you can see it is the oldest Polish Catholic Church in the U.S., founded December 24, 1854. It is a beautiful church and these photos do not do it justice. Take a drive there someday and see for yourself.

PANNA MARIA, TEXAS Panna Maria (meaning Virgin Mary in Polish) was established in 1854 and is the oldest permanent Polish settlement in the USA. Father Leopold Moczygemba founded the historic Polish community of Panna Maria. He came to Texas in 1852 to serve the religious needs of German communities that had already been established. In letters to his family in Silesia, he spoke of the possibilities of an improved life for them in Texas. News that was shared by his family with friends. In 1854, about one hundred families made the journey to Texas and the new Polish community of Panna Maria was born from their courage, fortitude and desire to find a better live. Father Leopold Moczygemba (1824-1891): The son of of Leopold and Ewa (Krawietz) Moczygemba, Father Leopold was born on October 18, 1824 in Pluznica, a small community in Upper Silesia area of Poland. In 1843, the young Leopold made the decision to take on the devoted life of a Catholic priest. His early service was in northern Italy and then Bovaria before his calling took him to Texas in 1852. Today, Panna Maria's population has dewindled to less than the original numbers that settled here. In the year 2000, less than one hundred citizens were still living in Panna Maria. The symbolic "old oak tree" near which the they built their church remains standing as a historic living reminder of the first settlers. The church itself has been rebuilt.

Silent Night, Holy Night. Angels we have heard on high...Gloria. Let us adore him. Let us rejoice. The good news is that we have been given the perfect gift for making the best Christmas ever - - Christ. As we remember the simple birth of the Savior, we can give thanks for the miracle of His life. We can also give hope with each gift we give for a renewal of His Spirit in the lives of those we love. Simply remind them of the blessing of the Miracle, the hope and the wonder of Christ's life and death, and the impact on our lives. Worship Christ, renew old friendships, revive or start new personal and family traditions, and give gifts with joy, receive them with heartfelt gratitude and let the light of Bethlehem shine over you and all of your celebrations this year. And Good Night To All ~ Babs

11.27.2008

Happy Thanksgiving to All

It's a not so bright, foggy Thanksgiving morning. In typical Beverly fashion, I have the air conditioner on and the fireplace lit. Me, the "I don't cook, I don't camp, I don't hike and I don't bike...well, I'm cooking." Seems I've found people are grateful for what you create, they really seem to smile and that's a good thing. Not to count how it makes me feel. Cooking has never been my forte', or maybe it has just been a lazy excuse. Whatever the reason, I'm wading in the shallow end of the pool and cooking "just a little." Banana nut bread (6 loaves are in the oven) potato soup for later in the week-end and a Strawberry Rhubarb pie to take for dessert with friends later in the day. Thanksgiving lunch will be at the Hyatt Hill Country, accompanied by a big band and beautifully landscaped grounds...perfect for picture taking. Please keep your fingers crossed for the pie. It's been 20 years since I made it so I think I'll do an Indian dance just for good luck! I'm not sure why I've started cooking lately, and I continue to ask myself that question since I've not cooked...EVER. Noone actually ever taught me...does that sound reasonable? No, that's not a good excuse. I took home economics class like many of my high school girlfriends and somehow I think they cook every day. Surrounded by wonderful cooks as a youngster, I had a grandmother, mother and aunt that were "magicians in the kitchen." Even my sisters (younger) are great cooks. Janell makes the most wonderful Key Lime Pie and homemade yeast rolls and little Sissy, Karla, makes the best Broccoli Rice Casserole in the world. Just ask my boys...they love their aunts' cooking! L--R Sisters: Janell, Karla, Beverly As for me...I figure I can do other things. I'm not sure I ever fully appreciated all the labor and long hours my mother spent preparing for holiday meals. She used to tell us her daily routine when she was preparing Thanksgiving meal. You know...Monday: "Well, I have my celery all chopped and tomorrow I'm going to do my onions and peppers." We always knew that the day before Thanksgiving was all about "cornbread day." I never knew why...until she was gone and I found out that you need to make it the day before and "let it sit." I'm not sure what it is sitting for, but you must let the cornbread sit...what for, to go stale and hard? Everybody who makes cornbread stuffing says you let it sit (and not just a bit...but overnight)! Just the other day I asked my aunt: "Where ARE all those wonderful recipes for what you all made?" In their heads...that is where! She did tell me that my grandmother's pie crust recipe used to be on the Crisco can. Well, who's bought Crisco in 30 years? Not this girl...just picking it up would probably cause a 5 lb. weight gain. But, low and behold, in the market yesterday I peaked and by golly, there it was...on the Crisco can. I put it back quickly on the shelf for fear of people actually seeing me LOOK at Crisco...I mean who eats shortening? Besides the little dough boy has made that task much easier, it's definitely an edit to the Crisco pie crust and life seems to be about Easy and Edits. At least that is how I see it. Take this route...no that doesn't work, back up and go a different route. My life seems to be an ongoing movie script (and there has been a time [over the last 5 years, a friend and I were going to write a screenplay] but then we would have had to change the names to protect the guilty, so...only knowing the beginning and the middle...we never took it to the end. But we liked the idea...we could control exactly how we wanted it to end. Perhaps I need to call my friend Linda, that little ray of sunshine, and see if she's interested again...I'm the one with the vivid imagination and she's the writer. As I wrote to a friend this morning, we only have the ability to look at what works, or doesn't work for us, and edit or change our life, accordingly. I find it quite challenging at times to reinvent or edit my life, but it can be extremely self-empowering. Noone else can edit my life...I guess they could try, but I'm the one that has the choices to make and I can accept the script I've written or I can choose to reinvent and edit my life to a life that's fulfilling for me and hope that the people in my life benefit. Sometimes it's not easy making changes or editing my life script...I've certainly done it more times than I've wanted but it keeps getting better. I know that I'm responsible for the change to bring about improvement and fulfillment and work toward the life that makes me happy. Sitting at this computer and writing about it is so much easier...wouldn't it be great to just use the backspace key, or erase a line of text, start over and BOOM...all is changed. Not so easy. Recently, I told a friend I didn't carry around baggage...that I traveled fairly light. My boys raised, their educations' complete, on their own...its only me to worry about. Yeah, right! We all carry around baggage and sometimes clutch to it like some one is going to snatch it away from us and own it as their own. Most people I know just tend to hold on to their own...not worrying about someone else's baggage. You know those unhealthy, often times negative thoughts about a past relationship...maybe not so great in looking back...in fact, probably unhealthy...and there we clutch our baggage for way too long. I'm working to let go...move on, rewrite and take out of that baggage those things that just didn't suit me and take the good to the next chapter of my life. My cousin reminsced recently about her college days when she was dating her "to be husband of 40+ years." How he would come around, call and talk and then disappear! They would talk and talk and then she wouldn't hear from him for a while. When she asked him about it..."where do you go?" His response was" Well, we talked so much you filled me up...didn't have anything to talk about for a while." I never looked at it like that. There he was this All American Basketball Player, the ultimate jock with such words of wisdom. What a positive way of telling a person what they do to "fill that empty space" in their life. Helping to bring fulfillment and happiness to another's life. When we take out the stressful activities in our life or disassociate ourself from people who drain our energy and JUST LET GO of the baggage that doesn't fit us anymore, we have lots and lots of empty spaces and can fill those spaces with anything we like. It leaves lots of places for positive people and experiences, healthy relationships and friendships, more laughter and a lot of love. Deeper friendships, healthier and loving relationships, seeking out adventure over tedium (hey, I went hiking not long ago...something I said I didn't do and I loved the whole experience). You would have thought I was climbing a mountain...it instilled in me a confidence I didn't know I had and replaced a moment in my time, an empty place that I didn't realize was there, and filled it with a relaxing sense of accomplishment when I might otherwise have been fretting or putzing about accomplishing little. On this Thanksgving day, I am thankful for my life, all of my family and my friends who are a positive, loving force in my life. They know who they are, they have brought me such love and laughter, many moments of joy and they continue to add to every chapter of my life. I'll continue to make changes, hoping they are always for the better, that I become a better person and and fill those empty spots with a love for life, thankfulness and wisdom, in the hopes that I can give back to those who have given so much to me and my life. Happy Thanksgiving to all.

~Babs