LETTING GO & SQUARING UP

In the summer of 1962 my parents bought their first new home.  It looked straight out of a catalogue, or so I was told.  With 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom (yes, that would ultimately care for 4 kiddos and 2 adults), I think my parents thought they were stylin'.  Organization started for me in this little house which is my sometimes frustrating (to others) and many times referred to, frustrating character trait.  "Squaring up" is what I call it.  Making certain that my "things" are in place and my life is "squared up."

Placing a strip of masking tape down the middle of the bedroom that I shared with my little sister, Janellie (second from L.) made everything nice and neat.  Being the oldest of the four, I chose the side closest to our closet.  Little did I know that would cause a protest from this 6-year old.  My Mama Rush taught me if you do two things your home would be presentable, even if you didn't agree.  First, always hang up your clothes and second, make your bed.  That has stuck with me to now.  As a little girl, it didn't always keep that 10 x 12 room tidy, but we tried.  If being organized was a character trait in the 60's, I didn't know about it or read about it...my reading was limited to mysteries and teen magazines.  Now maybe if we had Container Stores (why didn't I think of that) it would have been helpful.  In Texas City, we were lucky to have a little Mom and Pop five & dime store, Rock's.  I learned the art of organization from having a small space...it was survival.  A space to read, write and talk on the telephone for all of 15 minutes, my allowed time lest I be in big trouble if I chatted longer.  There was no call waiting or voice mail and my Dad had his own business so no long talks on the phone for me.  Besides, our one phone-house hung on the kitchen wall.  I was always asking "please, Daddy can't I have a phone of my own?"  But it was my space all the same.

A routine of organized cleaning wasn't my mother's cup of tea.  It was, however, her mother's, my Mama Rush, who thought cleanliness was next to godliness.  That being said, Christmas was the time my mother thought we should take a day from school vacation and clean out the closets.  I always looked forward to those school holidays when we woud have a day designated to cleaning out and going to the church thrift shop with our goods.  There were no garage sales or sidewalk sales...you just marched on down to the little shop and handed over your "stuff."  With a clean and organized closet my life was squared up.  Now, when my life feels a bit out of sorts I head to the closets and start the cleaning. Organizing my closets with clothes sorted and color coded...well color me happy!  

Doesn't everybody color code their clothes and hangars?  Okay, so maybe it's okay to just label your shoes for a quick get away in the mornings.  Certainly helps me.  It also helps to wear a lot of the same color...you know, just add a few pieces of color, here and there.  I feel in control if my closets are organized.  Oops, there goes that "control" word and it's not necessarily a "Like" word for me.  I've been identified or labeled as a control freak for most of my adult life. I just happen to think that everthing one owns deserves a home, so...create a home for your "stuff." 

I have a room dedicated for use as my art room.  All my papers, scissors, photos, stamps, glue and glitter.  I love my BABS room as it's name appears over the desk in big black letters.  My stamps are lined up by category, just like at Michael's craft store.  Some women love the aisles of Nordstrom's and Macy's but me...nope, I am happiest at DSW for shoes and Michael's http://www.michael's.com/ or Scrapbook Heaven http://www.scrapbookheaven.com/ for art supplies. Now, if only my mental closet, as pertains to my home, was as organized.  I frequently have talks with myself, as well as a routine game of tug of war, with my heart about do I stay or do I sell?  For some reason I decided that about age 55 (now past that date), I would sell my home and minimize my life.  I was travelling in my job a lot and worrying about home, even more. How were the roses doing?  Was the lawn looking green?  And on, and on, the worry wart goes! 

I see Brock about as often as his social life allows so I've decided "it's a stay" for now. 

When the subject of baggage comes up in a conversation I always declare "I travel lightly!"  A statement I make with pride from raising two wonderful sons who are now independent and successful and who, I just might add, live a minimalist lifestyle.  Both quite organized and not about clutter.  I mean...just look at this garage. Think my son learned the art of organization? 

But with a little soul searching and internal housekeeping, I know way down deep that I, like just about everyone else I know, lug around a bit of emotional baggage.  It's hard to let go and I know my life is filled with emotional "stuff", just like my orderly home may look neat but it's filled with material stuff that I just keep lugging around.  My home is my sanctuary and I know that I hold on to possessions because it is part of my feeling of security.  It's a place I WANT TO BE and a place I feel wants me.  If I say that out loud does that make it okay? 

So, from time to time, I ponder these thoughts.  If I let go of my material "stuff" will that leave empty spaces within me...empty spaces that I might not know how to fill or "square up?"

We've probably all had the sense of letting go and then BOOM, within days, we need the very thing we were thinking of discarding.  But I'm coming to the conclusion that if I don't let go of some of my "stuff" just because they are in their place, how in the world am I going to have room for the new "stuff"
to enter and become a part of my life...NOW?

With that said, my New Year's resolution is to "let go of some of the old in order to allow the new."  Material stuff equals a temporary attachment (although some of my things have been around 35 years) but I want to make certain I have plenty of space new things to come into my life! 

How wonderful would it be if every day we just leave our footprints?  Putting things in their places as soon as they are used...wouldn't your home look nice and orderly?  Would your mind feel a bit more squared up? 

Give it a try...begin putting away everything that you touch today...leave only footprints!

"Take Only Pictures. Leave Only Footprints."  ~ National Forests.

Happy Friendship Day ~ Happy Birthday

Today begins the sixth decade of my life. For years, I thought the BIG BIRTHDAY would be the No. 50 but the chatter leading up to this birthday turned into major conversation, early on. I am particularly fond of "Sixty is the New Forty." To reaffirm this, I started giving away birthdays on my birthday. When receiving a birthday wish, I said "Happy Birthday to You, too." My son, Sam, quickly said: "Mom's it's not my birthday, its yours." I said: "Oh, I'm giving away birthdays so I can go backwards." He didn't want it, nor did he buy it. It was a great birthday day filled with well wishes from family and friends with smiles, hugs and kisses from my beautiful grandson, Brock. There was Lauren's signature soup (thank you, Sweet One), a delicious steak dinner, brunch, beautiful photography from one of Sam's many travels, little painted handprints and Yellow Box shoes from Steven, Lauren & Brock, not to count my many birthday cards. Love them all. Facebook brought me about 50 birthday wishes...it was awesome. Through FaceBook and e-mail, I am more in tune with what's going on in my friendship world. It's like a late afternoon stroll in the neighborhood, but on the computer. I stop by for a visit with childhood friends, former co-workers, neighbors and I've even made new friends on Facebook from South Africa and VA. Its like I've known GG, Mary and Jane for years. The connection with old friends and new through social networking has been gratifying, particularly since I've learned the communcation rules of "netiquette"(and definitely when NOT to communicate) in order to stay out of the EMOL (Embarrassing Mom on Line) zone. Initially, I wasn't fond of Facebook. On Day One, I had no idea what to do with the Hatchlings or Eggs or whatever it was that my dear friend, Gaynell, was sending me. Problem solver that I am, I thought I had to DO SOMETHING, with every thing sent me. I was quickly tutored by Sam: "Mom, you don't have to do anything with them." "Just enjoy." I've come to love the Hugs, Hearts and anything else someone takes the time to send my way. It's a quick "hello, how are you?" Fancy Nancy is even my friend and you have to be a very young mother or a very hip Nana to know Fancy Nancy. http://www.fancynancybooks.com/ ~ Just like "Fancy", Nancy is a Fantabulous Friend! My life becomes so hectic and it's so easy to take friendships for granted, even the very best of them, but Facebook provides me the chance, when everything is quiet and calm, to spend a moment seeing what's going on in the world of those I care about. I've been blessed with wonderful people in my life and Facebook returns me to my childhood days, with Texas City friends and neighbors. I always knew what my neighbor, Sandee, was doing. Sandee was 2 years older than me and I thought she was the coolest kid on the block (well, except for the gorgeous guy down the street, Sonny; but hey, I was only 12, he was 15 and I adored how he called me "Mullet" when we played baseball. Well, he hit the ball and I chased it for him). Sandee could wear eye shadow, drive her Mom's car and she took me anywhere I wanted to go, within reason. I was a mere baby sitter for my siblings, Janell, Dwain & Karla, who I love dearly, but when I learned to drive I parked them in the floorboard of the backseat if they absolutely had to go somewhere with me. Sandee and I shared everything as giggly girls. We laughed together and fretted together over everything. There was a period when we disconnected and I wondered about her often. From 1968 until a few short months ago we were not in contact. Now via Facebook we are doing our best to catch up and stay connected. A bit later in "teenagedom" there was Phyllis, Jana, Gaynell, Jane, Cathy, Sue and what one didn't think of...well, the other did. I thought it was a LOT OF FUN when we all decided to go platinum pretending to be who...Marilyn Monroe? Well, Cathy, I don't think you were there that night and besides...who would want to change that beautiful red hair? All beautiful friends and all beautiful women. THEN and NOW.

Like other kids, we questioned who we would be and what we would be doing when we grew up and it seemed it wasn't happening fast enough. Now, I wish time had not gone so fast. I know I was always questioning my final stopping place in life. As I reminsce, I see the highs and lows and the ebb and flow of how my role has changed but always staying true to myself, no matter what the role. That has been the positive in my life. Just when I think I am settled in one role in my life...BOOM, it changes...for the better. I'm grounded in the truth of who I am and what my role in life is and I'm content. I've learned to take on the new role with enthusiasm and with FAITH that the new role will bring a fresh look at life and a better understanding of the lives of those I love and care about. Faith is important in family and friendships and it's an important part of shared trust. It is our unconditional loyalty that enables people we care about to know they can trust placing confidence in us and our word. If someone knows they can count on you during tough times, they know they can count on you when stressors are less but life events are no less important. Love you Jammie, and thank you for all the loyalty and listening you've done over the last 15 years :-). Hugs to you, Sallie, for all the tears you dried with unconditional love. Carol, you are so very special to me. You've stood by me with laughter and you were there during the losses.

It's easy to be drawn into spending time with a needy friend who demands companionship but drains you, emotionally and mentally. My choice...I pass. I believe friendship isn't something in your mind...friendship is your actions. It's not whether you are good or bad...it's what you do. It's about people changing, whether it's roles or attitudes. It's when that change occurs that you find a trust and connection at deep level with a friend. All the physical stuff isn't much to depend on, that's just surface. If you're trying to change someone...well, that's not friendship...that is coercion. I am grateful for all my friends no matter where or how they came into my world.

There are big ships and there are little ships. But the best ship is Friendship.

~Author Unknown

Happy Friendship Day ~ The 1st Sunday in August ~ US Congress, 1935